The Final Chapters
by Insignificance
Summary: The end to the tale; following Forbidden and Heart of a Demon, The Final Chapters concludes the trilogy. Fi/Xel warning! Please don't read if you don't like this pairing!


The Final Chapters  
By: Silver Star  
  
It's over.  
  
It's finally over. This journey, a journey that opened my   
eyes, has just closed its final chapter. I smiled, feeling relieve   
that I'm still alive. I cheered silently inside. I had survived to   
live another day.   
  
Valgarv is gone, replaced by a child named Valteria. I   
planned to open a pottery shop somewhere, and settle down to   
raise little Val. I want to give him a home, a place where he is   
loved. After all, it's the least I could do after what my kind had   
done to him.   
  
I am no longer a priestess of the Golden Dragons any   
more. Our actions, the actions of the people who once made   
me proud, disgust me. When I had started this journey, I was   
certain in my position in life and the position of my people. As   
time goes on, I realized that all was not as I thought they were.   
My kinds, they were nothing like how I thought of them. They   
slaughtered thousands of innocents for greed and power.   
They were worse than the Mazoku.  
  
Mazoku. Xellos.  
  
This chapter of my life is closing. Xellos. I'll never see   
him again. After all, this journey is really what tied us   
together. It hurts, even after all this time, even after I've   
finally accepted the truth that he'll never love me. He is not   
my first love, and he probably won't be my last, but it still   
breaks my heart despite the knowledge. But I accepted this,   
just as how I had accepted the knowledge of what my kind had   
done, and I will make the best out of it. My life will still go on.   
His life will still continue. Nothing will change.   
  
So I guess this is goodbye, then, right? Xellos...I just   
wish I could tell you before you go... Before you walk out of   
my life forever.  
  
~ * * ~  
  
On the outside, I'm as infuriating as ever. My happy   
mask was firm on my face. To everyone around me, I'm still   
the ever-annoying trickster priest. To them, I never change.   
  
That's on the outside.  
  
Inside, my emotions were on a roller coaster.   
  
I'm sitting in a chair, delicately drinking a cup of tea. I   
think I'm annoying Zelgadis again, although this time, I really   
didn't try to do it. I suppose just seeing my face is enough to   
get him angry.   
  
Is that the same with you, Filia? Do you get angry when   
you see my face? Will you feel hate even though I have done   
nothing? Do you feel contempt when I saved your life? I don't   
know, but I can't say I don't care, because I do.   
  
I looked at you over the rim of my cup. My eyes were   
open this time. I want to take one last good look at you before   
we go our separate ways. Before you walk out of my unholy   
life forever.   
  
You must have felt my gaze, because it was at that   
moment that you looked up. Our eyes met, but I did not pull   
away. Your eyes, they always fascinate me. They were so   
blue, and they were always filled with emotions, whether   
disgust, hate, kindness, or confusion, they always showed in   
your eyes. I heard that eyes are the windows to ones soul. I   
think they were right.   
  
There was something unsettling in your eyes right now. I   
don't know what it is, but I think it's because your eyes were   
veiling something deep inside. Through all the times I've   
known you, I have almost never seen you hiding your   
emotions before. I don't think I like it. When I look into your   
eyes, I see your beautiful soul, and I never want that to stop. I   
want to be able to look into your soul for all of eternity.   
  
You jerked your eyes away, and the painful reality   
crashed down on me. The privilege of being able to look into   
your soul was reserved for someone else, not me. Never me.   
And I realize and acknowledge that. You deserve someone   
better than me, someone who can love you and take care of   
you. Someone that you actually loves back.   
  
I lowered my head and hid my eyes behind a veil of   
shadow, hiding the pain that I would never allow any one to   
see. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see the image of you with   
another man, but it just won't go away. In my mind's eyes, I   
see a tall man hugging you close. My hands clenched and my   
fingernails dug painfully into my palm. All I wanted to do at   
that moment was to crush that man's head in. I wanted to   
shout out to the world that you are MINE and no one else's.   
But I knew I could never do that. After all, you despise me.  
  
~ * * ~  
  
I stood up abruptly, sending the chair I was sitting on   
clatter backwards. My head was lowered and my golden hair   
spilled down to frame my face, hiding the eternal pain that   
could be seen through my eyes. I didn't say a word or make   
any noise as I turned and walked out of the door of the   
restaurant.   
  
"What's wrong with Filia-san?" I absently heard Amelia   
say worriedly from behind me. "I hope she's not sick."  
  
I stiffened as I heard your voice. "She must be cranky   
because of 'that time of the month.'" A joke. Another   
goddamned joke of yours. I'll bet everything is a joke to you,   
isn't it? I stomped away, making sure that I'm loud enough to   
be heard at least a mile around, so it seemed as if I'm angry.   
Perhaps I am. I can no longer distinguish one emotion from   
the other any more when it concerns you.   
  
I'm running away from you once again. I can't take this   
any more. I can still see your crystalline amethyst eyes boring   
a hole into me, almost as if you can actually see my soul. I   
can still feel your gaze, like a fire that was refusing to be put   
out. If I had stayed in that restaurant one more second, I   
think I would've broken down and confessed to you of my   
secret.   
  
Are you enjoying yourself, Xellos? Are you feeding on my   
pain at this very moment? Do you truly enjoy tormenting me   
like this? I don't know, and truth to be told, I don't really care.   
What does those answers matter? They won't tell me how to   
capture your heart. All they are going to do is make me even   
more miserable than I already is.   
  
I came to a stop at the edge of the lake. I walked further   
out than I thought. I put one hand on the tree beside me and   
looked out to the beauty before me, but I could not enjoy it.   
  
He's evil, I told myself. He nearly killed all the Golden   
Dragons, and he won't hesitate to kill you. He's manipulating   
everyone, and he never tells you the truth. He's evil.  
  
I laughed silently, mirthlessly. Who am I trying to   
convince? Myself? I lost that battle a long time ago. It is   
useless now to even try. So why am I still trying to convince   
myself?   
  
~ * * ~  
  
I watched beneath cloaked eyes as you stomped out of   
the restaurant. Everyone else ignored you, thinking that   
you're just mad because of my little comment. But I know you   
too well, Filia. There is something you're trying to hide, and I   
want to know what. I want to know this one last secret of   
yours, and I want to be the only one to know it. Perhaps it is   
selfish of me, but I'm sure it's not all that unexpected. After   
all, I'm the filthy disgusting Namagomi, right?  
  
I set the teacup down onto the table softly, not catching   
anyone's attention, and then fazed out of the restaurant. I   
made myself invisible to the naked eyes and followed you as   
you strode down the street, toward the lake at the edge of the   
town.   
  
Your pace was fast; nearly impossible for any human to   
match, but it is no trouble for one like me, one who was   
granted so much dark powers that it was no trouble at all for   
me to destroy a whole army of Golden Dragons with one shot.   
  
You looked absolutely furious. Normally I would admire   
the fire in your eyes, but not this time, because there IS no fire   
in your eyes. They were not the clear blue they usually were,   
either. They were a dark stormy blue and they were slightly   
glazed over with something I could not distinguish. I can feel   
no anger radiate from you, but there is pain. A lot of pain. It   
nearly blinded me and I found myself feeling the same pain   
instead of absorbing it as my energy. I could not enjoy it.  
  
What are you hiding, my beautiful, beautiful Filia? What   
kind of secrets are you trying to bury in your heart? Why are   
you feeling so much pain as you try to hide those secrets? I   
want to know. I want to delve into your mind, your heart, and   
your soul to find out. I want to see what caused you this mind   
numbing pain and crush it. I don't ever want to see you in   
pain...never, ever, would I want to see you hurt.   
  
You stopped at the edge of the lake, looking out to the   
calm water, with one of your hands on the trunk of the three   
beside you. You looked calm now, peaceful, but I know it's   
just a mask, like mine, to deceive your enemies.   
  
I dispelled the invisibility spell I had around myself and   
watched as you stared at, yet not seeing, the beauty of your   
surroundings. I can feel the pain, confusion, and denial   
mixing together into a formidable storm wrecking havoc just   
beneath your skin.   
  
What are you thinking of, I wonder? I can feel your   
emotions, but I'm not a mind reader. I can't tell unless you   
allow me to. Whatever it is, it must be very important, for you   
to not notice my distinctive dark aura.   
  
I smiled slightly, watching your graceful form on the   
background of deep blue water. What is it are you hiding?  
  
"What is your secret, Filia...?"  
  
~ * * ~  
  
I stiffened, suddenly realizing that YOU are behind me.   
And I never noticed until the moment you spoke up. I spun   
around, eyes wide in surprise, and then narrowed in   
suspicion. You are standing behind me casually, almost as if   
we are very good friends and we haven't seen each other in   
years. Your right hand gripped your staff. The red orb on top   
gleamed under the sun, reminding me of the endless rivers of   
blood that you had spilled.   
  
"You followed me, didn't you?" I asked. I tried to muster   
anger in my voice but all I managed was a cold and   
unemotional whisper. You're watching me with your eyes   
open again. The amethyst orbs catching my eyes and holding   
them. A silent inquiry radiated from you. I broke your gaze   
and turned away. Don't do this to me I silently begged within   
my mind, waves of anguish washing over me, battering at the   
slowly eroding dam. Please, no more...don't hurt me more   
than I already am.   
  
"What are you thinking of, my dear Filia?" I heard you   
whisper softly and I trembled. How can you make me feel this   
way? "I want to know. I want to know all your secrets..."  
  
And the dam finally broke with a thunderous crash.   
  
~ * * ~  
  
"What are you thinking of, my dear Filia?" I asked softly,   
watching as your slender form trembled. Why are you   
trembling, Filia? Are you afraid? Of what? Me? Or   
something else? "I want to know. I want to know all your   
secrets..."  
  
The air crackled with energy and tension filled the great   
space, thick enough to be cut by a blade. Something snapped   
and abruptly, the tension was destroyed as waves upon waves   
of emotions crashed into me from all sides. Yet, I knew   
without knowing how or why that all this emotions came from   
YOU. And they were directed at me. I felt humbled and   
shocked under the onslaught of this mighty storm.   
  
Wind snapped my cape around me wildly and the day   
became darker and darker as the gray clouds moved overhead   
to block out the sun. I did not notice; all of my attention was   
focused on the trembling and fragile looking woman standing   
before me. I can see the tears making their way down your   
pale cheeks, hidden behind layers of your wind blown golden   
hair.   
  
Yet, despite all that, you looked absolutely beautiful in   
my eyes.   
  
Slowly, yet without hesitation, I walked toward you; my   
staff lay forgotten on the ground where I used to stand. The   
storm raged harder, faster around us, lifting up my cloak and   
your hair up into the air. With your hair now out of the way,   
you finally saw me, standing not even five feet away from you.   
  
Your golden hair swirled behind you in a bright halo,   
making you seemed almost like a Goddess. And you are   
indeed a Goddess in my eyes. A pure and innocent Goddess   
that I could never hoped to possess, yet, there you are,   
standing with the unmistakable emotions pouring out. Your   
heart bared itself to me, and I can see the answer to your   
painful secret.   
  
"Please," you whispered brokenly as more tears gathered   
and fell, only to be caught and whipped away by the harsh   
and cold wind. "Please, stay away from me...I don't want to be   
hurt again..." You trailed off as I enfold you within my dark   
embrace, yet you did not fought to break away. I hugged you   
tighter, wishing with all my might that this isn't just some   
dream that was brought out by my internal desires.   
  
"I love you," I whispered softly into your ears and I closed   
my eyes to savor the warmth radiating from you. "I love you   
so much it hurts..."  
  
You looked up, surprise and tentative hope shining in   
your crystalline blue eyes. "R-really? Do you mean that? Do   
you...do you truly love me?" You looked away suddenly,   
averting my silent gaze. "Please...please give me a straight   
answer. No more riddles...I want, no, I need to know."  
  
"Yes," I replied simply and your eyes snapped up to my   
again, shining in happiness. "Yes, I love you. Do you love   
me?"  
  
"Yes," you replied and I felt strange emotions swelling up   
from where my heart used to be. Something so simple can   
evoke something so great...  
  
"I am a Mazoku," I said. I didn't want to bring this up. I   
didn't want to remind you that I am something you hated with   
all your heart. I didn't want to give you a reason to hate me. I   
didn't want to loose you. Not now, not ever. But this is   
something that cannot be helped. I have to know, because I   
don't think I can take it if you reject me later on because of   
what I am, and what I will always be.  
  
"Yes, I know, and I am a Ryuuzoku," you replied to my   
silent question. "What is the difference? We are beings of two   
opposite race; yet, we are not all that different. Your kind can   
feel love, just as mine can feel hate."   
  
"So you accept my darkness?" I persisted, despite the fact   
that you already assured me that you do not care for our   
difference. But I need more prove that you will not leave me at   
the first sign of trouble.   
  
"Yes, but only if you accept my light," you said, looking   
up at me and smiling that beautiful smile of yours. I felt the   
worry and uncertainty disappear. You have so much power   
over me, and you don't even know it.   
  
"Alright," I said hoarsely, clutching you tighter, molding   
your body to mine. "Then say you're mine."  
  
"Yours, for all of Eternity." And the promise, and indeed   
it was a promise, was sealed by a kiss.   
  
Unnoticed by either the man or the woman, the storm   
continued raging around them, swirling and blowing wildly,   
yet they were not harmed. Peace in the Eye of the Storm...  
  
~ * * ~  
The End  
~ * * ~  
  
  



End file.
